Sunday, June 06, 2004

i don't know how to say this, but i'm starting to feel that June is not gonna be such a wonderful month. although we're only into the first week, it seems that things are starting to turn out bad. as in downhill. 6 days can really change the way you feel inside out. suddenly all the things that you thought were rosy and dandy are slowly morphing into something ugly and scary.

i've never really had my eye on months, but i can't help noticing the recurring patterns that certain months show over the past few years. and yes, i do notice these things.

as how i've noticed it to be (so far)......

January has always been a facade of new beginnings,
February has always been a month for a lot of new fuck-ups,
March is when the shit subsides a little but keeps me hanging,
April is a month of personal adjustment and hope,
and May is the month when everything pleasant suddenly bursts into a stellar surprise.

but June.....

.....June is when i keep my fingers crossed.

to say that May was a wonderful month is an understatement. it was more than wonderful. it was fucking brilliant. it's the month where you realise that Devine Intervention has got everything to do with the tons of new people you've met, the new things you've discovered, the new confidence you felt and also the new love you found. yes, May is my favourite month. at least now it officially is.

but now May has passed. then like a scene out of Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, one thing after another started to go a little awry. from relations with friends to the subtle realisation about a certain someone. things i never thought were there suddenly popped up like mushrooms. fuck-off big Shitake ones. like i couldn't see it coming. maybe they're right. maybe i've got to get a grip. maybe i've got to realise that i need to change. all-in-all, a kick in the groin that serves as a wake-up call. i have yet to figure out which side of the bed i will roll out of.

i don't know how i'm gonna get through this, but i just hope i can find some residue of May to help me deal with them. nothing life-threatening, but it still gets me staring at ceilings......


bedroom*hair @ 7:00 am

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