officially restricted of mobile outreach.
yes, Starhub just had to. and i blame it on procrastination on my part.
but somehow i'm not freaking out. and funny enough, i'm taking it quite well. under normal circumstances i'd probably have settled it within 24hours, just for security sake. but i guess i can't be arsed. i can't be arsed about alot of things nowadays, actually. which is a good thing. no...... a good change, more like it.
(suddenly solitary confinement sounds like a good idea.)
but it seems apt at this point of time that i feel a little empty and lost. cos today someone whom i've grown accustomed to, over the past weeks, is going away for a while. someone who has become...... dear to me.
i've only known Miss*SparkLE for slightly over two weeks now. but to describe what a joyride it has been...... i wouldn't know where to start. every single day eversince she came into existence had been such a blast. it wasn't a case of mad sugar rush, but i have to admit it seems somewhat instant, the way we connect. now keep in mind that i don't fancy being kept in the dark, and on any given day i'd just fuck it the minute the guessing game starts. i can't. i just can't be bothered......
but she...... she's got that something.
i don't know why i'm making a big concession for her. even after two weeks, i still haven't got the slightest idea just who she is. i've never heard her voice, never seen her picture, never whatever. and so it's not a surprise that my mind goes apeshit when i close my eyes and try to recall the faces of all that would qualify as a candidate. still nothing. yes, i am surprised at my determination. it's a first. to be honest, there were times when i just feel like a right idiot. but then again....
maybe it's because i haven't felt this sort of comfort for a very long time.
maybe my threshold of curiosity has reached an unprecedented level.
maybe it's the feeling of knowing something good is about to unfold and that patience is the key.
i have absolutely no idea just how long this will take and how it will turn out, but looking at the circumstances...... i should think i'm doing the right thing by not pushing the envelope. it would be a different story if she's doing it just for kicks, but i've heard her worries and i have to say that i understand how she feels. it's not easy to hold on to a kind of bliss that has for so long eluded you. i've been there. i'm sure everybody has. and so i think respecting her wishes is the best thing that i can do for now. having said that, i have to stamp on the fact that it has nothing to do with pity. or tolerance. i just know bloody well how it feels like to have a scar from a bad relationship.
and i have a handful of my own for show-and-tell, mind you.
(insert sincere "thanks" to The*NarcissisT, for fucking up my faith and confidence in love, here.)
nevertheless, the whole trip with Miss*SparkLE has been nothing short of a spectacular broadband supernova, where imagination is fully utilised and feeling high is a constant staple. smiles are a surplus, too. if it's this good now, just think of how fab it'd be when we finally meet. sweet.
someone please sedate me......
bedroom*hair @ 3:39 pm
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Special big-ass thank you to nanA for giving this blog its much-needed facelift.
You deserve a medal for this. And teh peng as well. Thank you.