inner.verbal.assault

Monday, December 27, 2004


finally the igloo days are over.

no more amazing pseudo-eskimo-office-boy adventures, no more stuff from the archives of the pseudo-eskimo-office-boy, no more duels with grumpy toilet ladies.

but they will be missed.





now it's time to play.


bedroom*hair @ 5:30 pm


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Tuesday, December 21, 2004


i never learn.

i never ever ever ever ever ever ever learn.

i could have slept early last night, as with any other night, but no. Fulham went into the finals of a Customised Tournament and at the end of it i ended up spending 2 hours in total banging on my FIFA2005 when i could have had that much more time in slumber. at least i won though.

but that's not the point.

because of my stupidity i now find myself drooling on my keyboard, swaying subconsciously toward the monitor and having a gaping mouth from time to time.


bedroom*hair @ 1:13 pm


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Monday, December 20, 2004


you have absolutely no idea how impossible it is to keep a straight face and to control yourself from bursting into laughter while doing your data work when all that's in your head is a repeated scene of a mob of sweaty angry head-bopping indian villagers running with torches and parangs while shouting profanities non-stop in Tamil. all chasing after one man.

this is why i am doing film next year.


bedroom*hair @ 4:39 pm


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familiar voices are always a pleasure to hear.

okay maybe not loansharks.

i called my cousin zuL who is living in KL yesterday. man, it felt good. i haven't heard from the old bastard for about a year now. and Hari Raya felt dead without him around. i miss him, dammit. so yes. this trip to KL over year's end will most definitely be a blast.

speaking of KL i spoke to zamiR for the first time last night over the phone. the dude has a deeper voice than i imagined. one would expect him to have a slightly higher tone, what with the super tight jeans and all. heh.

dammit i cannot wait to get out of this shithole. it's been far too long and way too much. i need to relax so bad i swear i can hear joyous family laughter and hawaiian guitar strings whenever a plane flies over my office. bloody hell.

and it just dawned upon me that there's 12 days left till 2005.



i hope there's still time.


bedroom*hair @ 1:08 pm


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Thursday, December 16, 2004


girls' clothes are so much better. so so so much better.

i just hope my mom won't put my new clothes in her wardrobe.


bedroom*hair @ 7:17 pm


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Wednesday, December 15, 2004


i swear my head is absorbant. really.

for the past few days i've been having lots of dreams. very visual and very real, i must add. i don't know if it's because i'm always dozing off at work over many short periods of time, but every short nap would feel like an overnight sleep. but lately i've been noticing something rather fascinating/scary. if i were to fall asleep on a magazine or a book or a periodical of any kind, i'd end up dreaming about it. weird, yes. but for real.

i just woke up from my nap. and i dreamt of having a naughty three-way meeting with a very attractive lady boss that i'd like to meet one day and a white model who has the most inviting suggestive eyes. in the same dream. so when things got a little too happy i woke up just in time and realised i was drooling on a copy of a women's magazine.





funny enough the cover featured a model wearing a powersuit sitting on top a fax machine.





now i have never gambled before and i obviously do not intend to, but i'm pretty sure i'd be popular with alot of uncles and ahpeks if i start drooling on Punter's Way.


bedroom*hair @ 2:27 pm


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if you have been reading up you'd know that my office is actually a cesspool full of very strange characters. and now i've got one more to list. there is this old cleaner woman who comes into the office every morning to clear the bins and to sweep up the place.

she burps every minute.

i wish i was kidding. and i'll have you know that i'm always at the front of the office and she's usually right at the back. so for me to hear her burp into song every morning from that distance can be quite traumatising. and did i mention the burps are long and belchy? well, the burps are long and belchy.



speak of the devil there she goes again.



that's it. i shall call her auntiE*burP from now on.


bedroom*hair @ 9:46 am


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as if sleeping on the job the whole of last week wasn't enough, i am stretching my laziness, tardiness and incompetence and dragging them into this week.

but i'm still getting 50 quid a day.





i wish i'm on a beach right now.


bedroom*hair @ 9:39 am


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Sunday, December 12, 2004


i went to the airport today.

and when i had to leave i stayed on a while longer. i've always loved airports since i was a little boy and it's nice to know i am still sentimental in that sense even after all these years.

i wondered around after the departure.

i saw a grown man sitting cross-legged on the floor crying on the phone in a secluded quiet corner of the departure hall. eyes covered, ticket in hand. he was alone.

you are already missed.

take care.


bedroom*hair @ 11:30 pm


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Monday, December 06, 2004


THE EXCITING ADVENTURES OF FAI THE PSEUDO ESKIMO OFFICE BOY!

Episode #1: "Face-Off"

any afternoon at the office wouldn't be complete without a visit to the loo after lunch.

so after a good crap session i headed out of the male toilet only to find the evil grumpY*toileT*ladY staring dead-on at me. bucket of soap at her feet, mop in hand. i am not exactly sure if she was born the devil's spawn or crossed over to the Dark Side shortly after our first meeting, but it was with great malice that she uttered words of doom that not only made me quiver just a bit, but also shredded my manhood at the same time.

"Did you flush?", she said softly under her breath, eyes looking down on the tiled floor, holding the top of her sacred mop. she looked like a right chinese female warrior with her stance like that.

i swear i wanted to cry. for all my 23-years-old oozing machisimo's worth, i was virtually reduced to a 9 year-old. i stopped in my tracks and disgust soon overcame my senses at having heard such an absurd question.

"Err, ya lah. why?", i replied.

"But Auntie never hear water leh~"

"I did. You're outside what. How to hear?"

and with such venomous intonation that spewed sarcasm across the surrounding air molecules, she said, "Nebermind, nebermind.... auntie old whaaat.... cannot hear thingsss.... nebermind lorrr~.... if dirty auntie can wash AGAIN whaaat.... old people work so hard nobody care~~~.... "


[ due to strict internet laws, profanities has been deleted from this space to prevent legal action being taken against this website and its administrator. ]


grumpY*toileT*ladY : 1
Fai-the-Pseudo-Eskimo-Office-Boy : 0


bedroom*hair @ 2:39 pm


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Thursday, December 02, 2004


something is really wrong.

i think mR.*magiC is not feeling well today.

had my two shots' daily dose but still i feel like lying down.

hmm.


bedroom*hair @ 5:30 pm


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